I don't remember what I was going to add!

O my gosh! I'm so close to tears. Work was just AWEFUL today. I canceled my plans to go to work because my friend's step-day died, and work called and said they really needed me. Well, they didn't and I had nothing to do while working with a bunch of people I don't know (some of them really mean too). I almost walked out, but I"m a good employe, so I didn't. The thing that kept me going was that today is Benjamin's first day home from college (he got home when I got out of work at 7), but who did he chose to spend his time with? You guessed it, friends. I was so looking forward to this too! I had everything planned out. Maybe I'm just over reacting, but this week was TERRIBLE at school, and I've been down lately anyway. Today was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

While I was in Florida I noticed a lot of girls walking around wearing next to nothing. Do they expect to get seen normally? I mean when we were there, girls walked into the store wearing like dental floss, and I'm wondering... Do they want to get treated like a piece of meat? Are they looking for the prize of getting some guy to fall for them and then sleep with them? What kind of a life is that? I think girls get a lot more respect when we cover-up, but who knows, I'm not a guy, and I don't know how they think (nor do I think I want to!) Girls that have sex before marriage are unhappy because they go through guy after guy or what ever. But girls who don't have sex feel unloved too. It's all just a viscous circle of feeling unloved. Even as a Christian I struggle with this. The night I became a Christian I basically gave up on myself and God, but God showed me that He has bigger plans for me than I could imagine. Even when I feel abandoned by everyone on earth, I know that there is a God who loves me enough to die, to actually DIE for ME, Kathryn Wickman! It breaks my heart to hear that teenagers don't know that, and know that they don't know that God loves them. They use sex to find love instead of God. I feel a call by God to work with teenagers that go through stuff, and really let them know that God is absolutely in love with them. I can't imagine living my life without Christ and His ever-present love and direction. It just breaks my heart that everyone doesn't know how much God loves them. The teen suicide rate is so terribly high, and I just wonder... What if those people knew a God that loved them. I know I wouldn't be alive today if I hadn't found God in the summer. Actually, He found me! He found me while I was a wreck. Dead in Him. I hated Him. I felt abandoned my Him. I don't know how I made in through those times prior to that without God, but maybe God will use that time in my life to help others. Maybe not. But I know God's plan isn't for me to sit and watch my butt grow. I still struggle with temtation every single day and sometimes I give in. I mean, I'm only human, but what gets me through every time is God's arms wrapped around me pulling me out. How do people that don't have that support make it through? I know I couldn't have made it without God. It's really been heavy on my heart to pray for teenagers that feel abandoned -teenagers that can't see the light at the end of the tunnel- teenagers that feel unloved. If those teenagers could only see God and know, they wouldn't have to use sex to feel better. I wonder how much better the world would feel if we would turn from our wicked ways and seek after Christ. Whoever reads this should pray for hopeless teenagers too. And pray for me because I can be one of them. And pray for me as I try to minister to them!!!!