Today
wow! Today was an interesting day! I can't even begin to describe the emotion that went into it. Last night I had "the dream," the one where I dream that my father gets murdered down south. The first time that I had that dream, I woke up crying and sweating, and that morning I found out that my dad was going to Louisianna and I was scared to death the whole time he was gone because of the dream. Well I had it last night again and then I found out this afternoon that my father is going back on Monday only this time he is actually going into New Orleans by himself. I mean, other people wil be in Louisianna at the store they're living in ans stuff, but my dad will be by himself doing his job while other people are doing theres, so I am even more scared. Oh, and no armed military guard this time either.
So anyway, at school I am totally on the edge all day because I am scared to death after having the dream, and I got someone mad at me and I feel awefull about that! Then I went to the PH/PHN game today. It was really awkward for me. The whole night was. When we picked Josh up Mike and him started talking about hott girls (which is never a good thing to listen to when your aren't one). So I started feeling really down on myself way early today and their talking about hott girls didn't help my selfesteem for today. (I swear it's like myrth, it goes up and down). And then someone brought up a touchy subject for me. and then (I feel like an idiot even saying this) I start crying int the middle of the game. Not sobbing or anything, just crying. And I was really rude to Mike and Josh. I feel aweful. I wish I wasn't so emotional.
Oh yeah, so I went to prayer group and Tuesday and I shared a request that I wasn't sure I would surive the year, and someone told my mom that I was going back to my old ways and that I was worrying everyone. I am not going back down the devil-worshioping path, so nobody has to worry. I don't even know if I'm going to go back to prayer group because I don't want to worry my mom. I don't know if I trust them anyway.
So anyway, at school I am totally on the edge all day because I am scared to death after having the dream, and I got someone mad at me and I feel awefull about that! Then I went to the PH/PHN game today. It was really awkward for me. The whole night was. When we picked Josh up Mike and him started talking about hott girls (which is never a good thing to listen to when your aren't one). So I started feeling really down on myself way early today and their talking about hott girls didn't help my selfesteem for today. (I swear it's like myrth, it goes up and down). And then someone brought up a touchy subject for me. and then (I feel like an idiot even saying this) I start crying int the middle of the game. Not sobbing or anything, just crying. And I was really rude to Mike and Josh. I feel aweful. I wish I wasn't so emotional.
Oh yeah, so I went to prayer group and Tuesday and I shared a request that I wasn't sure I would surive the year, and someone told my mom that I was going back to my old ways and that I was worrying everyone. I am not going back down the devil-worshioping path, so nobody has to worry. I don't even know if I'm going to go back to prayer group because I don't want to worry my mom. I don't know if I trust them anyway.
posted by **Kathryn Joy** at 11:04 PM
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