Sunday, January 08, 2006

Decision making

This weekend was good. Benjamin and Sarah went home, and that's not cool, but I has agreat time with them, so I'm ok with it. I was ready to kick Sarah out of my room (she is a slob and I am not). Yesterday Jennifer Mc-something-or-other (from the Mexico trip) called me up out of the blue (took me completely by surprise) and ask if I wanted to go out with her. We had a lot of fun together! Thanks, Jen! Then I went home and fought with my mom (because I don't want to have a 16th birthday party because I don't think anyone would bother to show up) and because Benjain left some crap in his room and so did Sarah.... this is my fault how....??? And today was a great day! I had to get to church butt early in the morning because I am still a young'n and can't drive myself, but after church I went out to eat with Mike Gunn and Dave and Gwyn. Josh was there so we ate with him too. It was fun. Work was great! Jill and I were so hyper!
Anyway, I have to make so many decisions and I don't like it. My main decision is about going to Mexico. I'm afraid that I'll hide in my shell and be stupidly shy if I go. I really want to go like crazy. I love it down there! I'm even comfortable in the atmosphere (if I'm not puking my gutts out like 2 yers in a row). I'm afraid of lack of girls because I get really nervous and insecure around guys, older and younger. When I get shy I close up and talk really low and not very much and I'm not fun to be around, not that I am when I'm not being shy. But I want to go so bad! Some are selfish reasons though. I think I need desperately to get away and clear my head. And I want so bad to go back to place where I feel so close to God. It's weird because Mexico is in my comfort zone. and I totally want to use my Spanish skills! But over it all I want to serve God! I don't know what to do!!!! I wish someone would just make all the decisions for my life. It's weird because I don't mind making desisions for other people, but when it involves my life I am so indecisive! AHHH!!! Someone tell me what to do!! Please!

1 Comments:

Blogger C.M. Coon said...

one word:
GO!

9:08 AM  

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