I am depressed. Very depressed. I cried the entire way to work today when I found out I can't go to Mexico. Harry Potter is coming out and the boss said no one is allowed to take time off in July. I had been hoping this whole time that I could at least go for a week, but they're leaving on June 28. Mexico is litterally the single most important part of my year. I am in love with every moment I am there. I change when I am there. July 1, 2004 on a hill in Mexico, I surrendered my life to God and it will always hold a special spot in my heart. I've been praying my butt off to find some way, anyway to be able to go. I know it's not important to anyone else if I go or not because I'm not a valuable part of the team or anything, but if you are reading this, just life up a prayer because I care if I'm there.
Dang, I sound whiny, but of you've been to Mexico, you might know how I feel.

(Picture credited to Craig M. Coon)

I am pissed. Pissed pissed pissed. And I'll say it again........ PISSED! I just typed this long and beautiful heart-felt post about Lent 2007, and I lost it. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR............ Why do I even bother being heart-felt? Gee-wiz!

My Birthday!

Today is the 17th aniversary of my enterance into the world! It's been good, kind of lonely, I guess. I really wish my dad and my siblings were here to celebrate! And benjamin didn't even call me! Oh well, there's nothing important about a 17th birthday anyway. I celebrated by going to the bone doctor (my fracture is healing quite nicely, by the way) and eating at McDonald's and then going to youth group.

But all of that is not important because tonight, in about 1 hour actually, LOST is going to premier!!!!!!! Happy Birthday to me, right!

How does it feel to be 17? Well, it feels like I'll be 18 in one year!! Yippee!!! One more year 'til Smokin Baby!

I thought that I'd get back into this whole blogging things. It's been a while.

If only I could sum up the past few months in a few sentances, but that's not possile.

So I'll go simply with the fact that my family just brought in 2 new foster kids. There names are Angel, 13, and Marina, 5 months. So far they are adjusting well. Angel is very talkative and easy to get along with, and Marina (pictured above)is as cute as can be.

*Rachel is leaving tomorrow for another foster home.

* I am wearing a brace because I broke my hand by slipping oin the ice.

*My birthday is on Wednesday the 7th, I'll be 17
* Even more importantly, Lost is premiering on the 7th
*Working on my application to GVSU for a biomedical sience major.
*I am currently wishing I was with the team who went to Mexico
*About 30 seconds ago the Colts won the Superbowl

What happened to the old, simple blogger?

It's intersesting how lives can change in just a matter of weeks. I haven't posted about Rachel since before she came, but let's just say we weren't exactly the best of friends. It's impossible to pinpoint exactly what made her the way she is. Could it be years of abuse? Is it possible that someone could be born without a concience? Whatever the circumstance, it must have been horrible. How can someone go through hell and not come out undamaged in some way? I hate myself for not showing her love. I hate myself for not giving her what she needed. And most of all, I hate that I put my personal feelings for her ahaid of showing her the love of Christ that she has never experienced before.

I think a better question than what made her the way she is would be what exactly mademe the way I am? I have always been loved. I have never been abused and my needs have always been met. I know that Christ loved me so much that he would DIE for me! How then, with all of that, is it so hard for me to show that same love to her, or even point her toward that love. Now it's too late, and all I can do is pray that she will find and experience the agape love of Jesus Christ, and plead with God that I will be able to show the next kids thelove that God has shown me.

I'm sorry for failing, God!

The picture is of Rachel, Angel, and Marina... myold foster sister, and me two new ones.