Taken from someone else (don't know who)

"next time you think that God can't use you, just remember.....
Noah was a drunk
Abraham was really old
Isaac was a day dreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a studdering problem
Gideon was afraid
Samson was a womenizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
John the Baptist ate bugs
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples feel asleep praying
Martha woried about everything
The Samaritan women was divorced more the once
Zaccheus was very small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ulcer
and Lazarus was DEAD!

Please Stop!

Please stop spamming my blog! I don't want to increase my penis sise, nor do I worry about getting cervical cancer any time soon. So stop it!

Lord, help me, PLEASE!

Is it possible to be so upset about something that you feel sick to your stomach? Is is possible to be so upset that you can't even cry as much as you want to let the pain wash away in tears, but it won't come out? Because I think it's true. I don't know what to do with myself! All I think I want to do is sleep... forever. I am really tired because I stayed up all night praying that God would not take my sister from me, but He did anyway, and here I am. I want to just curl up into a ball and cry and stay there forever, but I can't. I can't cry, I can't sleep all alone in my room. I do not think it is good for me to be spending the next 2 weeks alone in my house, but i have no option other that that. I need God. I need a friend. I feel so empty and lonely. I know I sound stupid, but this is truely how I feel right now. So you can say I'm exaggerating or whatever, but this is how I feel.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll hate ya, tomorrow

Yes, tomorrow is the day that is taking my sister away from me. A few days ago it was Benjamin. Most people don't understand why I am so distruaght. That is because Benjamin and Sarah and I don't have a "normal" sibling relationship. No, we are friends... good friends, you could even say best friends. I consider Benjamin and Sarah to be two of my best friends. And she's leaving tomorrow, and I will be the only one left in the home. . I honestly can sit here and say that I am scared out of my mind, and I don't know what to do. The 2 people that I have ALWAYS been able to rely on and keep me sane and sometimes be my only friends are leaving me. Lord help me please!

Spending Time With God

Ok, I was thinking lately about personal time with God. If I claim to love God so much then why don't I take time to spend time with Him. I always make time for friends and family and think about them a ton. How come I don't spend time with God and think about Him all of the time? I want to get into a real and deep relationship with Him that isn't just on the surface, but I'm not sure how. Is that crazy?!!! It makes me wonder if I really actually love God, and that's crazy because I want to, but I don't know how or if I do or what. I'm so lost!

Hotel Rwanda

I actually wrote this blog like a while ago, but I saved it as a draft for some reason.
I just saw a great movie today. It's called Hotel Rwanda. It's a true story of a country suffering from civil war genocide. One man hid a bunch of refugees from both sides inside of the hotel he managed. His family thought they had a chance to leave the country, but he stayed back to protect the people. What really got me thought was that other countries wouldn't help. Some people would help for a little while if they got what they wanted (usually wisky). They just stood by and watched almost 1 million people die to the machete. It made me think about my own life. It made me think about how I would have reacted. I know that if I had the oportunity to leave the war zone, I would not have stayed to help people. I would probably say, "sucks to be you" and go to safety.
On Thursday I went conoeing with the youth group. There were I think 12 of us, and Joe was one of them. It was so cool to see the joy in his face. He hadn't been conoeing since his accident. He was smiling the whole time. At the end, his conoe tipped over and he was gasping for breath. We all did what we could to help. Emily jumped out to help him up, so Rena and I were alone in the conoe. We didn't know what to do and didn't want to get in the way, so we conoed around to collect all of the ores and shoes and floatation devices that fell out. We did what we could. We also helped him in and out of the conoe and up and down hills. It wasn't the easiest thing I've ever done, but it was all worth it to see just one of Joe's smiles or hear one of his laughs. One of Joe's aids told me that she was really thrilled and suprised that the youth would pull together and help him, but none of us thought twice about helping. One thing Craig said on Sunday is that one thing being a Christian is is useing our lives to point to Jesus. I think we did that when we helped Joe out because him and his aids got to see a little taste of Jesus through our lives. None of us thought twice about just sitting back and watching like other countries did in the movie. I guess I'm saying all of that to say that I want to be the kind of person who would risk my life to save people instead of saving myself. I want to be the kind of person who sees another person in need and helps them out, no matter what the cost. I sure don't want to be selfish! I really feel like I am. Sometimes I am so vain in thinking about me and my own own issues, that I forget completely about the person sitting right by me.

I wish I was 15 again

This message is for me and for everyone it entails,
I can't sleep tonight. I've got way too much on my mind. This sucks because I have to get up early tomorrow and go to job one before I come home to change my clothes and go strait to job two which leaves no room for a nap. I was talking to my Julie via AIM and I pretty much blew up at her about God knows what. I'm so sorry Julie. I hate this! I'm too stressed. I am seriously thinking about just quiting McDonald's altogether because there just aren't enought hours in a day. Right now I am working 1 1/2 jobs while trying to take on the responsibilities of living at home (which is a lot under my mother's roof sometimes), being a friend, still trying to be a 15 year old kid, and remain close to God. I feel like I have no time for Him. I honestly feel like I've lost that passion for him. There is a group going to see Kelly tomorrow, and I feel like an aweful friend because I have to stay home try to be responsible. Can't I just be a kid? I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm cranky, I'm sick, and I'm a pain in the butt to be around lately because of all that. I don't even feel healthy! I'm so sorry guys!!!
Oh, and to top it off, we got news on my dad's job. I can't say anything right now or my dad could lose his job (which is what he's doing anyway... but he's not getting fired, just laid off). Well, I have literally gone through most of my life without a friend.... literally, and now that I start to honestly feel exepted and maybe even loved by my peers, not only do I get "stabbed in the back", but the people that I honsetly felt loved by might be living several hours from me in not too long. Oh yeah, and the best part..... my 2 best friends, Benjamin and Sarah, will be leaving me in 2 weeks! That will be harder than anythign else in the world.
I'm so sorry for how I've acted lately:'( I have no exuses worthy enough.
Now that I read that it seems like that's not that bad, but really, I feel like I've reached my limitt and can't handle anymore for a little while.
Please forgive me

Mixed up mind

My head is so full of thoughts right now that I don't even know how to get them out! I don't usually have very profound thoughts, but I have all of these deep questions in my head right now. I have a lot of important spiritual questions too. And thoughts about the future. And desires are filling my head too. I'm having trouble thinking clearly because of all the thoughts in my head. I'm so mixed up! Is this normal? My head feels so full! Maybe it's because I have a migrain.
I'm feeling sick right now so I'm going to bed. I will try to explain myself later I guess. Maybe not. We'll see....
I really miss the Mexico team!!!