Their is something that is taking over my mind. Something that won't leave me alone. It's the first thing that pops in my head when I wake up in the morning. It's on my mind all day. It's the last thing I think of before I go to bed at night. It haunts my dreams. And when I wake up, the whole process starts over again. Sometimes the feeling's so intense that I feel physical pain. I am joyful when I have a 5 second break from the madness. Sleep is the only time I get a break from it, but it's so bad that sometimes I can't get to sleep. And, as I said, sometimes it haunts my dreams and there's no escaping it. In my mind there's only one option, but that is way out of the question. No need to worry. I pray for God to relieve this from me, but he hasn't so far. I need prayer very badly. Please pray hard if you are reading this. There is so much going on that I am botteling up. I desperately need to talk, but I can't. My parents have their spies everywhere. If I show any emotion at school, my teachers tell my parents. Wouldn't you think I could be real at youth group? Nope, the other night, I went to youth group broken and started crying. Of course my parents knew the next day. Most people expect me to be perky Kathryn, and if I'm anything different, my parents find out. In my prayer group I shared something that wasn't very personal and the very next day my mom was coming up to me all worried about me. I can't trust anyone. Who can I talk to when I need to? I'm lost, broken, confused, scared, but good at the same time. I need to talk. I guess that's why this blog is helpful. It always listens and doesn't judge.